Survives on Cheetos and perpetual faux outrage. Best kept in dark places like mom's basement. Legendary for overcompensating for their unattractiveness to any human being with tough-guy trash talk about killing foreigners. Never met a war it didn't like but wouldn't be found within 1000 miles of a combat zone.

Hilariously out-of-touch with reality. Ignorant and proud of it. Fancies themselves as expert document and photo analysts. Buy a dozen and we'll throw in for free an extra-heavy-duty office chair capable of accomodating their large asses and a 3 months' supply of Depends.